Our beautiful son is one month old today. I can’t believe I how fast time is flying by! 

He is so perfect and I’m so thankful to be his mom! In the past month he has gained just over 2 pounds, he’s now 9 lbs 3 oz and he loves to eat (like gulp that milk back) sleep, laugh, smile, look at bright lights, LOVES the bath, will only sleep in mine or my husbands arms, he dreams so much, is so wiggly and grunts all the time, he farts quite a bit for someone so little and it’s always when I’m on the phone (I’m sure people don’t always believe that it was him farting and not me!), he is such a relaxed baby and barely ever cries. One month in this world and he’s doing awesome!

Me on the other hand, one month into this first time mom job and it has been more than I could have ever imagined. More love, more smiles, more emotions, more cuddles, more work and more attention than I was anticipating. 

I love being Owens mom, I love how he smiles all morning long, how he needs me all the time, how he cuddles with me all night long and how he falls asleep in my arms. I love the moments we have reading books together, or talking or just gazing into his eyes wondering what he sees, what is so fascinating about the shelf behind me or what he’s thinking. Being a mom is truly wonderful and I’m so thankful to Owen for choosing me to be his mom. 

But with all that love and all that I had expected about motherhood, there was a lot that I wasn’t expecting. 

First, it’s important to know I am an extremely OCD person. I have lists  for lists of things to get done. I am quite productive with my time and determined to get my lists completeled (nothing more satisfying than checking an item off)! So there has been a lot of change in my daily routine. 

Of course I expected change but it hasn’t been all that I expected. 

Eating: of course I wanted to breastfeed him because we’ve heard it a million times, breast is best. I was expecting it to work well and to feed him every few hours for an hour or so, I wasn’t expecting him to need my nipple attached to him 24/7. I’m not into the crying out method (if you are that’s great! We all have our own preferences) so when he wakes even the slightest, he’s looking for food. There goes one hand for 70% of my day, but we’re managing.

Sleeping arrangements: I was expecting him to sleep in larger periods of time (1.5 to 2 hours) in his crib in his room, and at night in the bassinet in our room. I was completely against co-sleeping at the beginning, however, it hasn’t been that way. From time to time I can put him in the crib in his room to run to the washroom or make lunch, but he’s only fell asleep in there once and won’t do it again! You would think the beautiful bassinet in our room is make of nails since he refuses to lay in there. The second we put him down whether sleeping or awake, he starts fussing. So, where does he sleep? In my arms during the day, after feeding he falls asleep in my arms and only when he’s in a really deep sleep can I slowly move him beside me to sleep on our bed. But I can’t get up, it’s like he smells me near him and the second I leave the room, no matter how quiet I’ve been he wakes up. At night he sleeps beside me (don’t worry, we’ve taken safety precautions) this is really nice and quite convenient for night feeds as I hear him wake up (he doesn’t cry) and I can feed him while we’re both laying down. My husband doesn’t wake up and everyone is happy. Although, I don’t think I could Co-sleep if we had a smaller bed, we have a king and it’s a good size for the 3 of us.

Sleep: I was preparing myself for sleepless nights and looking like a zombie in the morning, but this boy sleeps! He sleeps all night and wakes every 2-3 hours to eat and falls asleep after 30 minutes without making a fuss. It’s glorious and has made us very happy, every day I thank him for sleeping so well.

Emotions: to be honest my pregnancy was so wonderful I didn’t think I’d have any issues with emotions afterwards. I was wrong. I cried so much over nothing, NOTHING! I can think back to the week after him and I can’t believe how emotional I was. Not angry or Crazy, just full of love and tears haha. Now my emotions are fine, I’ve just become some kind of mama bear, which I don’t like so I’m working on fixing it! 

Recovery: I had this vision that I would be baking, cooking and playing the days away as soon as we got home. Again, I was wrong. I wasn’t able to wear normal pants for a while because of the massive pads, and to top it off I ended up getting two infections in my incision at two different times! So I spent all of my time in bed cuddling trying to get better. A month later and there are still a few things that need healing but I’m feeling pretty great. 

Love: I was expecting to love him obviously but my god! I wasn’t prepared for this kid of love! Looking at his face makes me melt, and sometimes I’ve picked him up while he’s sleeping just because I miss having him in my arms. I would do anything for this boy, moms to be, prepare yourself, this love is deep! 

Overall my days aren’t nearly as productive (business wise) as before, however if you consider that I’m keeping this little human alive, I think that’s pretty productive! We haven’t figured everything out but we’re getting there one cuddle at a time. I love every minute with him and will cherish these moments forever! 

Happy one month birthday little O, mom and dad love you more than you’ll ever know! Xo

This is my absolute favorite frosting! It goes so wonderfully with this chocolate cake. Let me tell you, if you are a chocolate lover, you will LOVE this frosting -don’t say I didn’t warn you!

So here’s what you need:

1 cup Cocoa powder 

2 teaspoons of Vanilla 

5 cups of Powdered sugar 

1 1/2 cups of Butter 

1/2 cup of milk 

Cream the butter on high until it turned lighter in colour. Add the vanilla and beat on high until well mixed.

Add the cocoa powder and mix.

Add a 1/4 of the powdered sugar and 1/4 of the milk and mix. Continue until all powdered sugar and cream is combined.

Voila! As simple as that -rich creamy delicious chocolate frosting for cupcakes, cake or whatever your heart desires! 

As I mentioned yesterday, today I am sharing the birth story or our son Owen, born on February 4th. It was nothing like I had envisioned, a million times harder and scarier but holding our baby boy for the first time was the most magical moment of my life.

So here it is..

On Monday the 1st of February I went for a routine appointment at the gynecologist. He told me I was still only 2 cm dilated and that the baby was in the wrong position to put pressure on my cervix to start labour. 

So after a day of me crying because I was afraid of what would happen, I called the hospital to see what they suggested. They said that I should come in on Tuesday the 2nd at 11:00 to have a look. so we did just that. We met with the doctor who told us he was in a perfect position, things looked great and we just had to continue to wait. Not really what we wanted to hear (the waiting) but we were happy that he was healthy.

He checked my cervix and I was still only 2 cm dilated. 

On Tuesday evening around 6:00 I started having contractions, they we’re intense and every 10-15 minutes regularly. We decided to stay home and relax until they got closer together. Tuesday night I didn’t sleep much because of the pain and Wednesday was the same. No progress but things also didn’t slow down. 

At 6:00 on Wednesday the 3rd my contractions got really bad and closer together (5 minutes apart) so we went to the hospital. The midwife told us that we had some time to go and that I was only 3 cm dilated and could go back home if I wanted to relax until things progressed. 

Once we got home, it got really intense. The contractions were stronger and more painful and closer together. My husband was amazing the entire time. He held my hand and helped me with every contraction. He was so amazing. I couldn’t have gone through it with out his help!!

  As we were laying in the dark cuddling together, at 2:00 on the 4th, I instantly felt wet. I told my husband that I thought my water had broken and he turned on the light. It wasn’t my water, it was fresh blood, a lot of it. 

I started crying and panicking thinking something had happened to our sweet some as I wasn’t feeling any movement. We called the hospital. They said to come right in, I still couldn’t stop crying and worrying and your dad kept telling me to relax, everything would be okay. 

The drive to the hospital was the scariest moment of my life. I didn’t feel his sweet kicks or any contractions the whole way. I think my body was in shock and the contractions didn’t phase me anymore. My husband sped the entire way, holding my hand and telling me it would all be fine, he even ran a red light, woops! 

When we got there they set me up to the non stress test, his heart rate was dropping with every contraction. They didn’t know where the blood was coming from but the ultrasound showed my amniotic fluid was low. Mybhusband and I were silent the whole time and held each others hands only to break the silence with “I love you” every now and then. I was so scared, Mybhusband had on a brace face but he too was terrified. They had the chief doctor come in to assess everything and she said it looked okay. 

As the baby was in distress with every contraction, they gave me medication to stop the contractions until they found out why. I was admitted to the hospital and things were starting. The medication only held the contractions off for a minute or two.

We got into our delivery room at 4:00 and immediately asked for an epidural as the contractions were so strong and painful. At 7:00 I got my first epidural. Before getting it I was vomiting with the contractions because they were so painful. My husband was amazing the whole time and was there for every step of the way calming me and supporting me

The anesthesiologist came and prepared me for the epidural. She couldn’t seem to get past my spine (horrible pain when the needle would hit my bones) and I eventually passed out. She tried again while I was lying down and “successfully” got it in. She gave me my medication and left. 

The midwife started me on oxytocin to speed things along. Oh my god, those contractions were coming every minute and were so painful. At this point, we realized, the epidural wasn’t working. They asked if I wanted another, I declined because the pain from the first one was too much. 
Shortly thereafter the chief doctor came in and suggested that I get it as he didn’t foresee me making it through the delivery without it. So I agreed, another epidural.
At 9:00 I got my second epidural but my heart rate kept dropping so they had to monitor me for quite a while. 
At about 10:30 the midwife increased the amount of oxytocin in hopes to get the baby out, at this time I didn’t feel much, a slight pain down my right leg with every contraction but it was manageable. The baby’s heart rate was steady and dropped from time to time but they insisted that it was okay. 

At 11:00 things started and they asked me to start pushing! The doctor came to help the midwife. After quite some time pushing they said things weren’t getting and closer and that he was looking up instead of down (making the circumference of his head too large to come out of me) with the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck. Both of which no one had seen in the ultrasound a few hours ago. 

The doctor tried pushing him out from above by putting his weight on me. My husband was assisting by pushing my head forward but nothing was helping. Also, my epidural had worn off. They decided that the fastest way to get him out (he was in a lot of distress) would be with a vacuum. They tried a few contractions with the vacuum but it still wasn’t doing the job. So they gave me an episiotomy. Finally after all of that, at 11:37 he made us parents.
He was so beautiful and alert, he had wrinkly hands with really long nails and had the most beautiful cry in the world. My husband and I cried from pure happiness, I will never forget that moment, thank you my son, for giving me the best memory in the world and making us your parents.

In the end, labour was not what I had planned, but this pregnancy and delivery have taught me to have patience and to embrace that not everything in life goes according to my plan. Although it was the hardest thing I’ve been through in my life, I would do it all over again a million times if it meant having Owen make us a family.

   
   

I’m sure a few of you have noticed already but I haven’t been as present as I usually am. Some of you already guessed it and yes, we welcomed our baby boy into the world on February 4th. 

We have been enjoying every second of cuddles and look forward to introducing him to you all in the next few days. 

Tomorrow I’m going to post the birth story -a story you do not want to miss. Let me tell you all this and this and this and this and this and this did not prepare me for what actually happened! 

Stay tuned! Xo

I made this cake for my husbands birthday and, let me tell you, it will not be the last time I make it. 

It is the most moist (hate that word) cake I have ever eaten, it also goes wonderfully with chocolate frosting, or this vanilla frosting for somethings lighter.

Here’s what you’ll need:

• 2 cups Flour
• 2 cups Sugar
• 1 cup Boiling water
• 2 teaspoons Vanilla
• 1 cup milk
• 1/2 cup Vegetable oil
• 3/4 cup Cocoa powder
• 2 eggs
• 1 teaspoon Salt
• 1 1/2 teaspoons Baking soda
• 2 teaspoons Baking powder

Preheat oven to 160 degrees Celsius and prepare two cake pans with any fat of your choice, I rub coconut butter on them.

Combine all the dry ingredients (sugar, flour,salt, baking soda, baking powder and cocoa powder) until well combined.

Add milk, eggs, vanilla, and oil to the dry mix and mix on medium until well combined.

Add the boiling water, mix on medium until combined. It will be EXTREMELY liquidy, but don’t worry, it’s supposed to be that way -trust me.

Distribute the batter evenly between your two pans and bake for 35 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean.

Here is the masterpiece, rich, chocolatey and super moist.

Of course, let it cool and ice the two cakes together. Here is my husband’s cake with this icing! 

Enjoy and let me know what you think. Xo

This frosting is rich and creamy and goes well with literally everything! I especially like it on cinnamon buns! 

So here’s what you need:

1 1/2 cups of room temperature butter

1/3 cup of cream 

1 teaspoon of vanilla (preferably white)

2 cups of icing sugar

Cream your butter until fluffy and lighter in color. Add the vanilla and cream until combined.

Add portions of the icing sugar (1/4 at a time) while continuously whipping it.

Voila! It’s that easy and incredibly delicious! 

Add it to any cake, like this one on my Instagram! 

Let me know what you try it on! Xo

This potato salad is amazing! Any party we’ve brought it to, I got asked the recipe and it’s gone within minutes. It pairs wonderfully with a BBQ and any kind of meat, to be honest, I’ve also eaten it on its own, it’s that good! 

It is best served warm, and it is seriously creamy! So if you’re looking for a filling rich side, this is your dish! 

Here’s what you’ll need for a fairly big portion, about 10 sides:

5lbs of potatoes cut into cubes (I like to leave the skin on but you can remove it if you’d like)

2 red onions diced

1 can of corn

250g of freshly shaved Parmesan cheese

1 garlic clove -crushed 

70 grams of horseradish 

2 1/2 cups of sour cream

1/2 cup of mayonnaise 

Not shown, olive oil for sautéing onions
To begin, boil the potatoes until cooked.

Mix together 2/3 of the Parmesan, sour cream, mayonnaise, and horseradish

Sauté the onions and garlic in a pan on medium heat with olive oil until translucent.

Add the corn.

Add the cooked potatoes 

Add the sauce and cook until reduced (about 20 minutes).

Once done, top it with the remaining Parmesan cheese and some chivesif you want to add some color!

Enjoy! Xo

This is the easiest most delicious chicken marinade. It can be used on its own, for burgers, stir fry, you name it!

It is spicy, and packs a punch, and it is utterly amazing!

Here’s what you’ll need:

500 grams of chicken breast, cut however you wish

1/3 cup of Sriracha sauce

2 tablespoons of olive oil

1 table spoon of cayenne pepper

Salt and pepper to taste

Combine all of the ingredients (other than the chicken) and mix until well combined.

Add the sauce to the chicken and make sure that all the chicken is covered in sauce.

Cover it completely and set in the refrigerator for up to 6 hours, you can also cook it right away!

To cook it, either put it on the grill, bake it in the other or fry it with some oil.

My favorite is in the oven: preheat oven to 180 degrees Celsius, lay breast in a dish evenly, bake for 40 minutes or until cooked thoroughly.

Hope you like it! Xo

So it’s Tuesday again, that means another acupuncture update. 

I have to say, I am secretly hoping that this was my last time. We are SO ready for this little boy to join us. 

So we really tried to induce me this time, while reducing the swelling in my hands. She put in a few more than last time but in general the same spots -ankles, toes, feet, lover legs, hands, wrists, belly and back. The ones in my belly really pinched and the ones in my back started to pinch after 15 minutes or so. 

She said that they all went in well which means that my body should we on its way. I haven’t had any symptoms of labor though which is really frustrating. 

Over the holidays I ended up losing my mucus plug, had frequent bathroom trips -if you know what I mean, was feeling really ill, had a day with so much energy followed by fatigue, every symptom in the book, I had it, then after New Year’s Eve, they all went away. Which is so frustrating!! 

Now I don’t have any symptoms and today at my doctors appointment, he informed me that my cervix is still closed -bummer.

So I’m really not too sure what to think of acupuncture. I have had 5 rounds now, obviously this is part 5 after all, but nothing has happened. It may make my delivery shorter (here’s to hoping) but who knows. 

On a side note, another woman from my prenatal group (whos due date was 2 days after mine) went into labor 3 days ago. She said that her water broke, she started having contractions, after 16 hours of horrible contractions and pain (doesn’t seem short to me) she ended up having an emergency c-section. Which, out here in Germany, means they put you to sleep and you get a C-section. This sounds like the absolute worst option, for one, you don’t get to see your sweet babe in those precious first minutes, you don’t get to hear their first cry, and your unconscious for the first 2 or 3 hours of your babies life. No thanks! So anyways, here’s to hoping that the acupuncture helps reduce labor time, but we will soon find out, hopefully! 

So now, my options are becoming real. I am 5 days away from my due date and have to start thinking of the next step. So, first, I am terribly afraid of pitocin (any experience with it is greatly appreciated!) I’ve heard that the contractions are insanely painful (so you likely need an epidural, which I don’t want) and your body and the baby become stressed, which is obviously not good and leads to emergency c-sections. Again, no way! 

My doctor said I have to get induced as of February 7th, which scares me as its nearing closer. So I have done some research into a membrane sweep, which I think I will try first. Then if that doesn’t work they will apply cervical gel, and if that doesn’t work they would try pitocin. 

Living in Germany, you can also have an elective C-section anytime past 37 weeks, so I was also considering a C-section on my due date if he hasn’t come by then -of course trying the sweep and gel first. But of course, that isn’t ideal, with recovery, having more babies via C-section and of course breast feeding. 

So fingers crossed he decides to make it out on his own rather than help. Fingers crossed.

Any experience with inducing/C-section natural birth? I’m all ears! 
Thanks for reading! Xo

This cake is wonderfully light and the perfect consistency for an angel food cake! 

If you follow along on Instagram, you’ll know I recently made this cake with this icing for my birthday last month. There was a funny story to go along with it here. 

So here’s what you need:

• 1 cup Flour
• 1 1/4 cups Powdered sugar
• 1 cup Sugar
• 10 egg whites
• 1 1/2 teaspoon Cream of tartar  
• 1 teaspoon Salt
• 2 teaspoons White vanilla 

First preheat the oven to 180 degrees Celsius, separate the egg whites from the yolk, be sure not to get ANY yolk in the mixture!

Whisk flour and powdered sugar together until well combine and light

Using your electric mixer beat the egg whites, vanilla, salt and cream of tartar together until well mixed.

Once combined add the sugar and beat on high.

Then whisk it on high for about 5-10 minutes until peaks start to form and egg whites have turned stiff.

Using a spatula, fold in 1/3 of the dry mixture into the egg at a time until all combined.

Once completely mixed, put it into the ungraded pan making sure there are no air pockets.

Bake for 30 minutes, the cake should appear dry and cracked on the surface.

Flip it over and you’re cake should slide out (it may need some help).

And voila! A super moist fluffy angel food cake.

Decorate it how you’d like, but I recommend this using with sprinkles!