Ladies, we can’t win.

I have had this discussion with so many people lately, men and women, and in general, the men begin thinking I’m crazy but in the end agree with me, whereas the women, they just know where I’m coming from.

Ladies, we can’t ever seem to win. Let me explain.

You may remember from this post, my son is allergic to dairy, soy and eggs, all of which he was getting exposed to through my breastmilk. So of course, being a loving mother, I cut these out of my diet all together so the little guy wasn’t suffering. My husband decided to too, in order to be supportive, and believe me, I know I have an amazing husband! But oh my god, you should hear the praise he gets!

The other day I heard someone say how easy it is to be a good dad and how easy it is to be a bad mom. OH. MY. GOD. I had literally never thought of it but it is so true.

Going back to the pregnancy, of course, we have a million and one appointments to go to for check ups etc. and of course, us women go, to make sure our baby is okay in there. It is nice if your partner can tag along, right? But why do they get praised so much for taking a few hours off work (which we women also have to do, my employer doesn’t give me the day off for fun because I have a pre-natal appointment)? I mean people were telling me how lucky I was for having my husband come, uhm, its his child too!

Also while I was pregnant I gave up drinking alcohol, duh, and my husband did too out of support (I know an awesome guy) but you should have heard how much he got praised, and still does! If I were to have had a sip of wine, I would be considered a horrible mother, meanwhile men can go out drinking and still be amazing fathers, but if they give up alcohol they’re saints!? What the?!

Don’t even get me started on the household issues. I will admit, I have barely cooked since having O. I will cook on weekends from time to time but generally my husband cooks dinner for us (which he did not before baby). The reason for this is that we want to enjoy dinner together, without crying, eating faster than ever to avoid a melt down, etc. We want to talk and feel like we’re still married. This means that while I bathe O (yes, we bathe him every night, more on that another time) my husband is cooking dinner, for us to eat together, in calmness, to enjoy our time together while the baby is sleeping. So many people feel that it is the womans position to cook and clean, which okay, maybe it was a million years ago, but in our marriage, in 2016, we share responsibilities and treat eachother as equals. That means no one is above cooking or cleaning (although I will NOT take out the garbage.)

Lastly, why do we women get judged regardless what we decide to do. When the time came to decide if I would go back to work, I didn’t even want to ask people their opinion because I just knew everyone would have their own, and in the end, judge me for what ever decision I decided. If a mother goes back to work to provide for her family, shes considered a bad mother for not spending time with her children. If she were to stay home, she’s considered lazy for not contributing -either way, we cannot win!

I decided to go back to work part time, in the evening when my husband is home. That way, I am still here to feed my son, put him down for a nap if my husband can’t and see any major milestones he would have, while still contributing to our financial situation. I am proud that we are living comfortably and it is with my contribution as well. I have also decided to start my MBA in October, which will require additional time to myself. Some may think this is selfish of me, in fact, my own mother told me not to do it. But I know we can never give our children the life we want if I don’t continue to pursue my goals. I know that I have a lot on my plate and I am willing to get up early, stay up late and not take naps while my son is napping, just so I can enjoy the time I have with him during the day.

Moral of the story, if you are a wife, mother, employee, friend, or woman of any title, you have most likely been judged on a decision you’ve made. I wish it weren’t like this and I hope so badly that our daughters live in a different time where we aren’t torn between the stay at home mom generation our parents were versus the independent women era and can pursue what ever their goals, dreams and passions are. But in the meantime, ladies, do you, do what’s right for your marriage, family, friendships, yourself without even considering the judgment because there is absolutely no way we can win everyone over. If we can go to bed happy with our decisions then we’ve made the right one!

Thanks for reading! xo

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To Shave or not to Shave

I was always skeptical to shave my face, because, well, my mom always told me ‘once you shave the hair always grows back thicker.’ Blah, bore, old school thought!

After doing a lot of research and getting tired with the peach fuzz on my face, I gave in and tried it.

Let me tell you, it is a game changer! I have been doing it for just over a year now, I started just be for the wedding and I will never, ever stop!

First things first, there are a few rules to it. Do not shave your face with a normal shaver. Us women have very fine baby hairs on our faces, these need delicate shavers.

This is what they look like.

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Only go around your jawline and upper lip, don’t ever go above the nose. I have never tried it but I have heard horror stories. So I stay below the nose and am particularly careful around my ears/hair line.

The benefits?

Getting rid of those tiny hairs seriously makes your foundation go on like a dream! Any time I have an event or something coming up, I shave before hand and my makeup goes on flawless.

Shaving also helps exfoliate your skin and gives it a baby like appearance.

Lastly, don’t shave too often, I do it about once a month to avoid making my skin too dry and to let it grow in well enough (they grow so slowly).

Have you tried it?

Essential to life

Guys, I have joined a little late in the game but I am obsessed with essential oils.

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I was curious about them for some time but after having O and wanting a natural home and natural products for our bodies I finally gave in and got them. I was hesitant at first (and still am with using them on O) but any chance I get to use them, I am blown away at how effective they are. I LOVE THEM and will never go back!

First, I want to say, please do not use essential oils lightly, and use them at your own risk. I do not advise using them without speaking to a professional and/or doctor who can guide you. I am in no way an expert on oils and am constantly learning new things. Use them with caution and make sure to use them with extra caution around and on little humans.

So, I essentially got them for O. For natural bug repellant, to make homemade sunscreen, for bum cream and to help calm him. Little did I know they did so much more!

To be honest, I have yet to use them for homemade sunscreen, or make a bum cream for him. But the day will come as he has EXTREMELY sensitive skin (sorry, its my fault) so they will be our savior I’m sure.

But I do use them on him from time to time, but mostly on myself.

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For O (he is currently 7 months old) I diffuse different things to help him. I diffuse lemon in the am to help get his day started, and lavender at bath time to help calm him down. I diffuse these two every day without fail.

I also use Lavender mixed with (A LOT) of coconut oil on the bottoms of his feet if he’s had a particularly hard day.

For the mini man, that’s about to the extent I use the oils at the moment. As I said, I am hesitant as they are powerful stuff and he is an extremely sensitive boy. So the older he gets the more I will use.

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But, the fun is with me. I use them for everything!!

I diffuse lemon or citronella to keep bugs away. I use them for my allergies, headaches, muscle pain, face cleanser, pimple vanisher, scar eliminator, to help with sickness, literally any issue that comes up with me, there’s an oil to help.

So, a few ways I use them:

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Allergies -I put a drop of lavender, copaiba (a mix especially from Young Living), peppermint and Lemon on a table spoon of honey and ingest it. It takes a whole 30 seconds before I feel it hit. It is amazing and I love it!

Headaches -I am quite cautious with peppermint as I am still breastfeeding and it can slow down production, but I either apply it to my hair line, or back of neck or simply inhale it. It helps tremendously.

Muscle pain – I use Panaway (another mix from YoungLiving) it soothes my muscles after a long workout or at the end of a long day, plus smells amazing!

Face cleanser, pimple eliminatior -for this I use another blend from Yound Living with teatree, lemon, lavender and a whole bunch of other goodness (purification is the name) and it seriously cleans the face and helps get rid of pimples. I was suffering from post pregnancy break outs and within a few days this cleared it all up and has ensured that it isn’t coming back!

Scar eliminator -I use Frankenessence to help eliminate any scarring I have, it takes a little while but does the job!

Again, I cannot stress enough to educate yourself before using oils. I do not advise ingesting them or using them on your skin unless you know they are a good grade and come from a reputable company. Also, speak to a consultant or someone who is educated in oils before using them in any way.

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What kind of oils do you use for what? I am so interested in learning different things and cannot wait for my collection to expand!

Thanks for reading! xx

Sleeping baby

I have to say, ever since O was born he’s been a pretty good sleeper but I do think that the environment and routine we have implemented is really helpful.

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To be honest, before I had him, we had envisioned him sleeping peacefully beside our bed in his crib until 6 months, then move him into his own room -I have to laugh at the thought of it. I know some people where this works for their family and that is great! Every family works differently, however, for us, this just wasn’t how it worked best.

First off, O had amniotic fluid still in his lungs after birth (a normal situation) which caused him to kind of choke, cough a lot. Of course, this is scary, and being first time parents, we were terrified. So, my husband and I took turns sleeping while the other held him while he slept to make sure everything was okay (this may be extreme to some of you but it gave us peace of mind).

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So after the first week or so, he was used to, and we were used to, him sleeping around us. I was also exclusively breastfeeding him, so it was extremely unpractical for me to have him sleeping in his crib, have to take him out, feed him and try to put him back afterwards since he’d always fall asleep while he ate. So, I would have him sleep next to me, when he would get hungry, I heard him routing and would feed him laying down, after he would fall asleep I would then too. My husband was able to sleep through this all (thank goodness because he had to go to work the next day), my son wasn’t put through any discomfort and I was able to easily fall back to sleep. It was (and has been) wonderful.

I know a lot of people are not keen on co-sleeping, but to be honest, there are so many advantages to it. You can read more about it here.

But back to the beginning of our routine. We initially started with a routine at about 6 weeks when we were able to start bathing him. We have since changed his bedtime, but the routine always stays the same regardless of the time. This has also helped us with traveling in different time zones.

So we start with some calming activity, usually reading a book, going for a walk or gently playing with a toy. Afterwards I bathe him. After the bath I blow dry his hair, massage his body with coconut oil, and put on his pjs.

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From there we go into the bedroom (everything is dark to avoid stimulation after the bath) and I breastfeed him in the dark while laying down, generally he falls asleep, however if he doesn’t I simply pick him up and hum a song while holding him and he falls asleep. It is a very simple process and he never cries or fusses and I am at peace because I know he’s gone to bed happy (there’s something about him going to bed crying that disturbs me).

For napping we also have a (somewhat simpler) routine. We close the blinds turn on some running water white noise and gently rock him to sleep. It takes about 5 minutes, sometimes 10 and he’s generally easy to put down. His naps are usually 30 minutes in length and he has one nap a day for 1.5 hours in the morning. I was interested in starting a routine, but to be honest it never worked for us and I was more stressed out than anything.

Now he’s such a happy baby and has made his own routine more or less.

What’s worked for your family’s sleeping arrangement?

Thanks for reading!

Dry Brushing

Dry brushing

Dry brushing is my favorite part of my routine.

It always reminds me of the Bryan Adams song ‘hurt so good’ -Ha, I may have just aged myself. Anyways, it is for real, the stinging hurts but feels so good. Afterwards I feel so energized and my skin feels amazing.

First, let me explain what it is. It is a dry brush, like the one pictured above (comes with plastic or natural bristles, I recommend the natural bristles) which you brush your skin with. It is done in a particular direction, generally starting at your hands and feet moving towards the heart.

There are so many benefits to dry brushing! It helps with lymphatic drainage, helps keep cellulite away by tightening the skin, cleans your pores, exfoliates skin and boosts your energy by encouraging blood flow. With all those benefits, why are you waiting any longer, go out and get started.

If you remember this post, you know I was trying to loose weight, which is when I started dry brushing, nearly 3 years ago. I really found it gave me that extra boost of energy in the morning to help with my work out. It also helped with my cellulite!

All I would do is simply brush my skin before I showered, generally in the shower al ready so any dead skin was going to go down the drain instead of stay in our bathroom. That was it, really!

I also dry brush my face. You probably remember from this post, that I like to try to keep things natural on my skin, especially while breastfeeding and through pregnancy. This is a great way to exfoliate and help energize your skin. I only do it every 3rd day or so, otherwise it is too much for my skin.

To dry brush my face, I simply brush starting near my nose outwards then down my neck. It does burn a slightly but if you’re like me you actually love the feeling!

Lastly, I use it religiously now after having a baby. My skin doesn’t seem as elastic as before baby, even though I did all I could to keep my skin in good health while pregnancy expanded every part of me, it still needs some help and I find that dry brushing really helps tighten my legs, butt, arms and tummy.

Do you dry brush? What areas do you find it helps the most?

Thanks for reading! xo

 

 

 

See ya, Dairy!

Alright, so it has been a while but I’m starting to get into the swing of things. However, as you probably remember post and can understand where I am coming from. I can never seem to get too comfortable without my little guy spicing things up again. So here goes, my third attempt of getting back into a routine, but this time, I will make it work.

Í feel like dairy is such a 2010 topic but I am not going to talk about the usual dairy issues today (how gross it is to eat) because in all honesty, I seriously loved dairy. I tried to go vegan and it lasted all of half a day before I wanted something with cheese on it and living in Europe, the cheese is amazing!

But, I digress, the reason I am writing about dairy today is because I actually have given it up. Like 100% I do not eat a single thing with any part of a cow in it (I never ate beef to begin with). The reason why I was able to actually stick to not eating dairy this time is because of my little love.

At about 6 weeks we started to see a regular pattern of him crying hysterically at about 6:00 pm every night for about 4 hours (this got old real fast!) he would arch his back and you could tell how uncomfortable the little guy was. So I started paying more attention to other things he would do and tried to gather any odd ‘symptoms’. I know most parents would have just said, ‘oh its colic’ but I knew deep down there was something wrong (Hello mothers intuition -its real folks!). So I noticed (well hard to miss) how much he was spitting up, my mom and midwife and anyone I asked about this said it was normal, but I mean, this child was crazy good at spitting up. He also started to get a rash around this time after breastfeeding, it was strictly on his face and would go down after a while but it always appeared after breastfeeding. What really set my mom mode off was when he started having dark, dark, green, slimey stool (TMI sorry non moms -you do not know how important poop is until your a mom). I knew this couldn’t be normal no matter how many people told me it was, it wasn’t. So with these random symptoms I took to the internet since I felt like my midwife and doctors weren’t taking me seriously.

The first thing that popped up was Milk Protein Allergy (NO! Not my sweet cheese!). I dug around and it sounded exactly what we were going through -like I could have written some of the posts myself.

So, if you’ve never met someone with a MPA, you’re probably thinking ‘oh, like lactose intolerant’, no, not even close. Lactose can be taken out of the dairy whereas, milk is composed of two kinds of protein, Whey and Casein – which is what people who have a MPA are allergic to, the actual protein itself. These cannot be taken out of milk and is also found in butter or anything than comes from cow’s milk. These proteins also carry through your breastmilk and make their way into your babies tummies.

So the only thing I could do was eliminate dairy from my diet completely and hope that we saw some results. I read that it could take 8 weeks to fully leave mine and my sons system so don’t expect overnight results. But I’m telling you, we saw overnight results! He stopped crying the next day and we have had easy going bedtime routines ever since, he stopped spitting up (COMPLETELY, like no spitting up at all!) after a day, the rashes stopped appearing after about a week and his stool went back to normal after about 2 weeks, so it did take some time to leave our systems but we already saw some improvement the next day!

After eliminating dairy I noticed from time to time his symptoms came back, so I started a diet log and noticed it happened mostly when I ate processed food. So I tried the elimination diet. If you aren’t familiar with the elimination diet it is simply eliminating all allergy foods (eggs, soy, dairy, nuts, wheat, corn, anything that is considered a highly allergen food). So that I did, and his symptoms came back with soy and egg as well. So I have also eliminated those from my diet and we have had no issues at all! He has been a happy camper ever since.

But to be honest, I don’t miss dairy at all! It has been quite an adjustment since we are used to eating it, a lot. But I feel so much better after eliminating it. I feel lighter, my skin feels nicer and I see overall I am much more alert. My husband and I have decided even when I am done breastfeeding, we will not go back to dairy. We feel much better without it!

What are your thoughts? Dairy lover or not? Anyone have experience with Allergy babies?

Thanks for reading! xo

 

 

Don’t get too comfortable

Wow, being a mother has taught me so much. I know I’m only (nearly) 11 weeks into this new role but seriously, the life lessons come daily! And I mean more than just how to manage a million loads of laundry in a week -haha!

All of the lessons aside, the best thing it has taught me is not to get too comfortable.

Seriously, just when our schedule is flowing, I think I’m getting the hang of our daily routines, his schedule changes and I have to re-adjust. 

When I’m getting comfortable with being home (I’m an extreme introvert) we have some appointment of his or meet another new mom to meet with.

When I think I’ve got this new role down and am killing it, something else comes up -whether it’s having to change my diet while breastfeeding, pumping or any of the numerous daily tasks.

When I think about it, these things are expected with a new baby, or a new position but looking at it in the big picture, it’s taught me that I shouldn’t be comfortable with anything in life.

Of course, comfort is glorious, everyone loves being comfortable with life, routines, clothing, work, habits, relationships, anything is nice when it’s comfortable -but, does it do us any good?

The comfort area is like a black hole that sucks the motivation and creativity from our daily lives. Nothing spectacular comes from constantly being comfortable. 

When your routine gets comfortable, you stop doing exciting new things which teach you something or challenge you. When relationships get too comfortable you stop trying which can lead to dissatisfaction on your end or your partners. When work gets too comfortable you start getting bored and become absent, perhaps you stop working to your full potential. When clothing gets too comfortable you start gaining weight -yes maternity leggings I’m talking to you (or is this only my problem?).

You get the point. 

Nothing good comes from the comfort zone and you shouldn’t ever get too comfortable, not as a mother (because things are constantly changing) or in life, because it isn’t productive. 

So while motherhood has opened my eyes, I’m applying it to every aspect of my life and I have noticed some big changes already.

Do you agree with me? Is the comfort zone your culprit too? 

Let me know what you do to avoid the dreaded comfort zone!

What you learn living abroad

Living abroad has taught me so much. Not only about myself but how I see the world and others.

2008 was the first adventure I went on, I moved to Germany. I was a fresh 19 years old and went out to experience something new. This was probably one of the loneliest times of my life. I was completely alone and everything was it of my comfort zone. Long story short, I ended up leaving a few months early as I was so incredibly homesick.

After moving back to Vancouver I realized that I didn’t quite belong there anymore. I was stuck between needing adventure but also a sense of comfort.

After a few years in Vancouver, going about my daily routine, I met Sven -the love of my life (you can read about how we met here). After knowing each other for a few weeks we decided to move to Germany together in 2011. It was a tough few months in the beginning but it has turned out wonderfully and I couldn’t imagine living in Canada at this stage in my life.

So, I have experienced living abroad on both spectrums, the “I dislike everything and am lonely” side as well as the “I have a wonderful support system and am thriving in a new culture” side and here’s what both situations have taught me:

  • That I need to have a sense of comfort regardless of where I am. This can be a routine, a person (my husband) a comforting dish, or even similar surroundings.
  • How to speak another language, this is a given, of course after living here for 5 years and having in laws that don’t speak English, learning German was mandatory -and boy am I ever happy that I did! It didn’t only allow me to communicate with people but truly understand the culture. Knowing someone’s native language also gives you insight to their personality or why they have done or do the things they do. This doesn’t only go for an individual (although it really helps know someone on a personal level) but also the culture as a whole.
  • That I will always be learning the language. Even when I have become fluent, there has always been a special situation arise which proved that I still have things to learn. After moving here and becoming fluent, I took a driving course and learned German words for car parts that I didn’t even know the English words to! Or now, being pregnant, I’m still learning new words for medical procedures or situations. At times it feels like a never ending battle, but I am always interested at what I’ll learn next.
  • That I love being by myself. This may sound weird, as if I should know this already at the age of 27, but it really took moving abroad, and being alone to realize that I enjoy being. Just being, doing nothing or day dreaming or people watching. Regardless of what I’m doing, I love my own company, which really makes it easier to enjoy being around people, oddly enough.
  • I am actually an introvert. When I lived in Canada, I was asocial butterfly! I was always out with friends, making new friends and socializing -I was way too comfortable. It took me being in uncomfortable and in infinitive situation for me to realize, I like being alone and in quiet situations more than with people.
  • How to understand people better.
  • How to have an open mind.
  • How to communicate better, this really came with being an English teacher. Having to explain myself or something in general to a group of people with a low level of English, really helped me understand how to communicate effectively.
  • Independence -I think this is obvious, and expected.
  • How to cook. Before meeting my husband I had no desire to cook for myself. I ate out almost every meal, but that isn’t why I learned to cook. Once we moved abroad I ended up missing my comfort food -sushi, shepherds pie, certain dishes from home, that I started to learn how to make these dishes on my own to fill the void. My husband doesn’t complain and every now and then I end up missing home and turn to cooking.
  • How to convert metric to standard. From ovens to measurements EVERYTHING will be a struggle to convert from what you’ve learned everyday in school to what the people around you use -I still have to use cheat sheets and calculators to make sure I’m right.
  • How to convert different currencies in my head. This one is so easy now (as long as I have the up to date exchange rate) that I automatically exchange the rates when shopping online or talking to someone from home.
  • How to get out of my comfort zone -this could be taking public transportation to somewhere new (I hate public transport) or going to a new city on my own to explore. As I mentioned, when I lived in Canada I was way too comfortable. Being in a country where I couldn’t speak the language got me out of my comfort zone in a big way, which allowed me to learn so much about myself.
  • How not to be defensive. This one is odd, but, while abroad I have realized how patriotic I am. I truly love Canada and am proud to be Canadian. It took many months of hurt feelings and feeling defensive from stupid irrelevant comments for me to understand that I can still be patriotic without getting defensive. I got into a few heated discussions with people who were small minded and would say things jokingly about Canada or international couples, only to now know not to waste my time on an argument with them.
  • How big my home country truly is and how small other countries are in comparison. This one is funny, but it seriously took me a while to realize how truly massive Canada is. When I look at the size of my home province (British Columbia) and that it is twice the size of Germany, the country I’m currently living in, it is mind blowing to me.
  • Similarities within cultures. This one is also strange but in Germany there is a game called “name, city, country” the objective is to think of a letter and find as many objects that start with that letter. I have played this game with other Canadians and groups of Germans, only to find that no matter how different the people within the cultures are, they all think of the same objects with the letters chosen. There were Canadians I’ve played with that I didn’t know before hand, or would consider us to be completely different, and we still had the same answers, it is really interesting!

So there we have it, what I’ve learned from living abroad. What are things you’ve learned from travelling/living abroad?

 

Stay tuned for part 2 -what I’ve learned being in an international relarionship.

 

Thanks for reading! xo

First time mom- one month in

  
Our beautiful son is one month old today. I can’t believe I how fast time is flying by! 

He is so perfect and I’m so thankful to be his mom! In the past month he has gained just over 2 pounds, he’s now 9 lbs 3 oz and he loves to eat (like gulp that milk back) sleep, laugh, smile, look at bright lights, LOVES the bath, will only sleep in mine or my husbands arms, he dreams so much, is so wiggly and grunts all the time, he farts quite a bit for someone so little and it’s always when I’m on the phone (I’m sure people don’t always believe that it was him farting and not me!), he is such a relaxed baby and barely ever cries. One month in this world and he’s doing awesome!

Me on the other hand, one month into this first time mom job and it has been more than I could have ever imagined. More love, more smiles, more emotions, more cuddles, more work and more attention than I was anticipating. 

I love being Owens mom, I love how he smiles all morning long, how he needs me all the time, how he cuddles with me all night long and how he falls asleep in my arms. I love the moments we have reading books together, or talking or just gazing into his eyes wondering what he sees, what is so fascinating about the shelf behind me or what he’s thinking. Being a mom is truly wonderful and I’m so thankful to Owen for choosing me to be his mom. 

But with all that love and all that I had expected about motherhood, there was a lot that I wasn’t expecting. 

First, it’s important to know I am an extremely OCD person. I have lists  for lists of things to get done. I am quite productive with my time and determined to get my lists completeled (nothing more satisfying than checking an item off)! So there has been a lot of change in my daily routine. 

Of course I expected change but it hasn’t been all that I expected. 

Eating: of course I wanted to breastfeed him because we’ve heard it a million times, breast is best. I was expecting it to work well and to feed him every few hours for an hour or so, I wasn’t expecting him to need my nipple attached to him 24/7. I’m not into the crying out method (if you are that’s great! We all have our own preferences) so when he wakes even the slightest, he’s looking for food. There goes one hand for 70% of my day, but we’re managing.

Sleeping arrangements: I was expecting him to sleep in larger periods of time (1.5 to 2 hours) in his crib in his room, and at night in the bassinet in our room. I was completely against co-sleeping at the beginning, however, it hasn’t been that way. From time to time I can put him in the crib in his room to run to the washroom or make lunch, but he’s only fell asleep in there once and won’t do it again! You would think the beautiful bassinet in our room is make of nails since he refuses to lay in there. The second we put him down whether sleeping or awake, he starts fussing. So, where does he sleep? In my arms during the day, after feeding he falls asleep in my arms and only when he’s in a really deep sleep can I slowly move him beside me to sleep on our bed. But I can’t get up, it’s like he smells me near him and the second I leave the room, no matter how quiet I’ve been he wakes up. At night he sleeps beside me (don’t worry, we’ve taken safety precautions) this is really nice and quite convenient for night feeds as I hear him wake up (he doesn’t cry) and I can feed him while we’re both laying down. My husband doesn’t wake up and everyone is happy. Although, I don’t think I could Co-sleep if we had a smaller bed, we have a king and it’s a good size for the 3 of us.

Sleep: I was preparing myself for sleepless nights and looking like a zombie in the morning, but this boy sleeps! He sleeps all night and wakes every 2-3 hours to eat and falls asleep after 30 minutes without making a fuss. It’s glorious and has made us very happy, every day I thank him for sleeping so well.

Emotions: to be honest my pregnancy was so wonderful I didn’t think I’d have any issues with emotions afterwards. I was wrong. I cried so much over nothing, NOTHING! I can think back to the week after him and I can’t believe how emotional I was. Not angry or Crazy, just full of love and tears haha. Now my emotions are fine, I’ve just become some kind of mama bear, which I don’t like so I’m working on fixing it! 

Recovery: I had this vision that I would be baking, cooking and playing the days away as soon as we got home. Again, I was wrong. I wasn’t able to wear normal pants for a while because of the massive pads, and to top it off I ended up getting two infections in my incision at two different times! So I spent all of my time in bed cuddling trying to get better. A month later and there are still a few things that need healing but I’m feeling pretty great. 

Love: I was expecting to love him obviously but my god! I wasn’t prepared for this kid of love! Looking at his face makes me melt, and sometimes I’ve picked him up while he’s sleeping just because I miss having him in my arms. I would do anything for this boy, moms to be, prepare yourself, this love is deep! 

Overall my days aren’t nearly as productive (business wise) as before, however if you consider that I’m keeping this little human alive, I think that’s pretty productive! We haven’t figured everything out but we’re getting there one cuddle at a time. I love every minute with him and will cherish these moments forever! 

Happy one month birthday little O, mom and dad love you more than you’ll ever know! Xo

The smartest person in the room

A month ago I was inspired by a holiday themed post about how to deal with family over the holidays. It noted that the quietest person is often the smartest, which really got my wheels turning.

I sat back, thought about it, and had to dive in a little deeper. I thought about the people I know from different cultures, their views, accomplishments and how they interact with others in social settings. I did some searching of my own and have come to the conclusion, not only are the quietest people in the room generally more intelligent, they are also those who are more open to change, culture and experiences, they are also the least hot headed ones who remain poised in a debate.

Here’s why:

The OVER talker:

The person who is always talking (or trying to out talk others by talking louder) doesn’t really know what their talking about. Sure, they might be talking about something that they personally know of, however, they are too wrapped up with their own thoughts and opinions, they can’t hear any other perspective on it in order to really understand the topic -they see it one sided and their views are likely not to change. They also seem to always revert back to this topic, even if the topic of conversation has changed, they will find someway to always revert back to their comfort zone, as though to appear as they can talk about a range of topics, while really sticking to only what they know.

The OVER talker in the room is trying to over compensate. They feel vulnerable that the topic may change to something they don’t know much about or that those around them may start to think less of them, so they try to overcompensate by over talking (or actually speaking loudly) to make others believe that they are the smartest/know what they are talking about.

You will also find that the loudest person in the room strongly voices their opinions on topics, and will not have any room for others opinions or an open discussion which may bring up valid advantages and disadvantages to the topic. They are stubborn enough to think that only their opinion is right, and there is no discussing a topic without them getting angry. They are usually also ones who are appalled should you disagree with them, even if you casually disagree, without causing any debate, merely stating that you disagree usually gets them flustered and confused.

These are generally the people who are all about ‘selling themselves’. They are the ones who care most about status and positioning and think that the louder and more they talk, the more respected they will be. They are the ones who speak to make others feel or appear ‘dumb.’

The QUIET one:

Those who are not talking or trying to be the loudest are able to listen, understand, assess and analyse what they are being told. They then enhance their understanding on a range of topics and strengthen their brains through listening rather than speaking. This engages their mind into strategic thinking, problem solving, and gathering evidence which strengthens their overall mind.

The one who is the quietest is able to assess their surroundings and peoples demeanor in order to react/communicate better with those they are in contact with. Chances are, the OVER talker actually has no idea who they are really communicating with as they are too busy thinking of what they will say and how they will defend their thoughts. Whereas, the QUIET one is able to really understand the people they are communicating with, thus able to communicate more effectively and have a better understanding of how the others perceive them and their points.

The QUIET ones also don’t have anything to prove to anyone. Their demeanor isn’t overbearing and they aren’t constantly trying to control the conversation and persuade others to ‘believe’ them. These are the successful ones who know from experience to wait until others ask about something, knowing that at that point do they really engage and are open to your thoughts and ideas.

The QUIET ones are those secretly owning the room. They are allowing the OVER talker to think that they are giving into their tactic and letting them think they are the smartest, this is when the QUIET one can take advantage of their positioning by having no one feeling threatened.

They are those who speak to add value to a conversation, to make progress, to learn something themselves and to ensure that everyone benefits from the conversation (learns something).

So which are you? The QUIET one or the OVER talker? Do you agree? I’m looking forward to seeing what you have to say! xo